moving on.

I thought life after a so- called early miscarriage would be a lot easier.
maybe I need more support.
maybe I need to do something spiritually.
maybe I should go to church on Sunday.
Maybe instead of only praying to the LORD when I need him most, I should also pray when I need him least.
I only believe in him in times where I need him.
When I don't need him, I don't believe.

The weeks go by and I still feel torn.
I feel fine, and then all of a sudden I don't.
I start to feel like I'm over it and then this sense of grief takes over my body.
My heat still aches.
My stomach gorged, yet empty.
My mind races.
Scattered.